How To Find Your Why
Written by Jeff Demers on 02/02/2017
This blog started out as a very short Facebook post about “how to find your why,” and quickly turned into this blog post!
The most powerful mindset to have is one that says “no matter what, I will succeed.” Because at that point, you’re setting yourself up as an ultimate problem solver. You’re saying that no matter what comes in front of you, you will figure it out, and you will succeed, you will move forward, you will have the ability to overcome, and move on.
But you have to have a clear and precise vision that is always at the front of your mind as if it’s literally, physically right in front of you. You see it so clear that even though you’re not there yet, it feels like all you have to do is take a few more steps, and reach out, and touch it.
More important than your vision is your reason behind wanting that vision. And it’s not going to be just as simple as saying that you want it. It’s WHY you want it that matters. And while you’re thinking about why you want to be successful, and why you want your vision, look down deep inside of you and actually feel why you want it.
A common saying is “find the why that makes you cry.”
Sounds kind of corny, right?
But even if you’ve never stepped out on your own to become an entrepreneur or build a business, or even stepped into a leadership position, you’ve had a very passionate “WHY.”
Think about a time where something happened, or maybe it didn’t happen, and it bothered you because you really wanted a different result. Maybe you worked your ass off for a promotion that you didn’t get. Maybe you’ve fallen short of getting your college education. Maybe you and your spouse have tried over and over again, unsuccessfully, to have a child that you both badly want. Failure is a big creator of that deep, deep emotion that just makes you want to drop down on your knees and question God, or question your life as a whole. Those times when you find yourself asking the universe…”why me?” Or even “why not me?”
Success can have the same result. It’s something that made you feel like you’re standing on the mountain top for the whole world to see and praise. It’s something that brings tears to your eyes because you feel so great about finally making it.
I want to do an exercise with you. Because most people that start their own business or start on a venture that is extremely challenging, and they fail. They fail over, and over again.
But today, for those that want more out of life because you know that you deserve more, I’m going to help you find your “why.”
And for the purpose of this exercise, I’m going to use the example of starting a “work from home” business. Now this is just an exercise, I’m not recruiting you, but this is a subject that I know about, and I know how to attach these emotions to, mainly because my “why” has kept me going, digging, scratching, clawing, struggling, crying, failing….and inevitably, it has kept me moving forward.
I’ve had thousands of people doubt me, failed to believe in me, has tried to get me to turn around and play it safe. And yet, I have kept moving forward. If I made a list of the objections, and the walls that have been put in front of me, and the issues, and the emotions, as well as the victories that I have achieved and laid them out in front of you, you wouldn’t have any choice but to say that I am a success, even though I’m not rich yet, and even though I still have a ways to go.
First and foremost, before I move into the lesson, I am a physically disabled United States Army Combat Veteran. But even though I may be lacking physical ability, my mind is a sharp today as it ever was. And as long as my mind is right, there is nothing that can stop me from getting to where I want to be.
But enough about me, I’m here to help you.
I want you to think about why it is that you get up every morning. I want you to think about what pulls you out of bed. What are the things that you do on a daily basis, that if you had a choice, you would rather not do those things? But you do those things anyways. What is it that gets you up, and takes you into work? What is it that makes you do the things your manager wants you to do, even though you don’t always like doing those tasks?
Most people at this point would answer those questions with “I have bills to pay, so I do what I need to do.”
But is that what makes you have that feeling that you’re looking for, or is it something else. Is paying your bills truly the one thing that makes you happy? Really? Because I’m never happy when I pay a bill! Because I have to give up the money that I have worked so hard for. I do it because I need to in order to survive with the things I feel that I need in my life. And yes, it does feel good some times just to know that it’s paid, but that’s just a temporary feeling because I know that it’s going to come around again, and again, and again.
Let’s talk about money. How much money do you think you need to make a month in order to be happy? How much? Now here comes the hard question…..
Why? We already established that simply paying your bills is not going to give you that ultimate emotion that you are looking for. So what is it about that dollar amount in your head that is the reason that you desperately need it?
Let me ask you this….Let’s say that in your current job, you’re bringing home (after taxes) about $2500- $3000 in a month. Is this enough to live your life the way that you want it? We’re already past paying the bills, so think about what you have left at this point. With the money that you have left, what is it that you desperately want the ability to do? Here comes that question again…..
“Why?” What is it that you want to do, that you can’t do with what you’re currently making? Let’s say you want to buy a new car. That’s you’re answer. Lesson over, congratulations!
If you get a new car, what is it that you can do now, that you couldn’t do then? Why is that important to you? Was it because your other car was unreliable and kept breaking down? Was it that you didn’t have a car in the first place? Does it allow you to free up time that you no longer need to take by using the bus to go to work? If so, why is that time important to you? What would you do with that extra (let’s say) two hours of time that you no longer need to travel to and from work on the bus?
Why is that important to you? Do you want to use it to finally have the time to go to the gym and get in shape because you’re a little overweight? So now you’re working out, and you’re in shape. What can you do now, that you couldn’t do before you started working out?
What if the saved time from getting a car and not having to take the bus to work now gave you more time with your children. Now that you have that time, why is that important to you? What types of things would you do with your children with more time? What would you teach them, and try to instill into them that you can’t do in the short amount of time that you had between when you rode the bus home, and when you put them to bed? Why is that important to you? Why do you think it’s important that your children get to spend more time with you, and vice versa? Does it make you sad that you can’t do it right now? How do you think they feel now without that extra time? How do you think they would feel with that extra time with you? Does it make you sad that you don’t have it now?
What if your why wasn’t to get a new car, but it was to spend more time with your kids? So you get up as early as you can and sacrifice badly needed sleep aid to do so, and then you go into work, already exhausted, and now your boss is pushing everyone’s buttons because you haven’t made your quota yet for the month. Is the early wake-up enough to make you happy to get you through all that while still feeling good about the sleep you lost?
What if you never had to go to that job in the first place, and you could spend as much time with them as you wanted, because you now control your own schedule, and you work from home? And here’s the kicker…..
Your bills are still paid. How would you feel then? How do you think your kids, or even your spouse would feel at that moment?
What about that trip that you’ve always wanted to take with the family, or even with just you and your spouse (or just you if you’re single with no kids like me!)? How would it feel to know that a simple decision that you made turned into not having to ask permission to take a vacation from work? How would it feel to never miss one of your child’s games, or graduations, or any other special moments? How do you think they would feel?
Maybe you don’t have any kids, and you’ve been dating this guy/girl for a long time, but haven’t proposed because you simply can’t afford the ring to do so. What if you actually had the money to not only be able to afford the ring, but you can pay for the wedding……
In the Bahamas?
And as you look at your bride/groom (it’s a new time, ladies can pay too!), you see how happy he is/she is because you just made that moment the most special and memorable day that he/she has ever had. And now think about how that makes you feel.
What about buying your first house…..CASH! Why is that important to you? How big is the house? Does it have a yard? How many rooms does it have? What does the kitchen look like? How many cars do you have in the garage? Why are those things important to you, and your family? How would having a new house change your life? How would it change your families life?
Or how about simply have the time and money to be there for someone you care about? When was the last time a friend or family member asked you if you could help, and it hurt you that you couldn’t? That sucks, right? I know, I’ve been there. I’ve even been the one on the other side of that conversation asking for the help, and that REALLY SUCKED! And I had friends who knew my situation and ignored every call, and message for help. Hell, I was homeless and living in my car the first six months I moved to Arizona. Wouldn’t you want to be the one that people can go to, instead of run away from?
I’ve always said that if you’re ever feeling down, go and help someone. Because it gives you that emotion of joy, and happiness, and for some…..success.
So back to the beginning…..
Why do you get up in the morning? Most people fail at their ventures (FACT) because they don’t understand why they should sacrifice so much for something that seems so far away at the moment. Their belief system crumbles at the first sign of danger or stress, and they simply give up, and go back to what they know is safe. And for most, that’s working paycheck to paycheck. It’s not the life they want, but they know if they just keep their head down, and stay out of trouble, then the odds are low that it would get worse. So they live their life in fear. They are afraid of failure. And they run in the opposite direction the first chance they get.
Don’t live in fear. Find out the why that makes you cry, and go get it!
It’s a process to figure out, and I’ve got it laid out for you here:
How to find you why:
- Why do you want to earn an extra income?
- Why is that important to you?
- Now that you have that, why is THAT important to you?
- Now that you have that, why is THAT important to you?
- Now that you have that, why is THAT important to you?
Now that you’ve figured out what your true reason is to get out of bed in the morning, I would be doing you a complete injustice if you read all of this, and didn’t give you an opportunity to see this important information to help you find your “why” and reach your ultimate vision and outcome.
Click the link below for this tremendous opportunity with a proven system that has made over $200 Million dollars (results not typical, please see income disclosure here: http://j.mp/incomeavg) You will then see that opportunity that will allow you the access to work with me and my mentors!
I thank you for reading my blog, and I wish you all the best!
Host of The Motivated Mindset Podcast
Heroes Media Group
To listen to my podcast, go here: